On Being A Certifiable Sucker:

Zhang is a Grade 11 Chinese thug.  He sits in the back of the classroom with long, spiked black hair, carefully arranged to hide the ear he is not allowed to have pierced.  He hates English and sometimes thinks about smoking cigarettes.  He goes to the internet cafe on the weekends when his parents think he's studying. 

The other students consider him a badass.

Tonight is Thursday.  One week before Thanksgiving.  Someone has taken the projector from the classroom, unbolted it from the ceiling and taken it.  This means I can't use the power point I worked on all afternoon.  Instead, I have chalk, a blackboard and an hour to burn. 

Yellow dust flies.  A badly drawn Mayflower emerges.  Thin, stick-like Pilgrims stand on the deck, waving to my students.  "Tell me this story," I say. 

So they do.  They tell it better than most Americans.

I stop at the part of the story where the Pilgrims have a feast and play games with their Native friends, deciding that the fifteen minutes I have left isn't enough time to get into tribal displacement, burial grounds and tax-free casinos. 

"What are you thankful for?" I ask.  An old standby.

"My parents."  A shy girl on the left side.

"Chairman Mao."  The tall boy in the back waits to see how I react.  I don't.  I look to see who's next.

Zhang stands.  "I'm thankful for my teacher, Janna."  I choke on my gum and work to get it back between my teeth.  He makes eye contact with me, then sits down.  Even though I know it's a ploy, it's flattery, the best kind of brown nosing.  I know this, but I choose to pretend like it's not and instead to be thankful for moments in time where I feel like a super star.

On Crowd Pleasing:

Currently Watching Monster House (Widescreen Edition) By Mitchel Musso, Sam Lerner, Spencer Locke, Steve Buscemi, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jason Lee, Kevin James (III), Nick Cannon, Catherine O'Hara, Fred Willard, Ryan Newman (III), Woody Schultz, Ian McConnel, Jon Heder, Kathleen Turner, Erik Walker, Matthew Fahey, Marc Musso see related

On Things That Are Spooky, Spooky

So, yesterday marked my third Halloween in China. 

In a truly horrific show of Halloween spirit  I wore the same costume as last year, going as a gypsy fortune teller. 

Uninspired, check.  Uncreative, check.  Unparalled admiration from students, check. 

Even if she's wearing the same costume she did last year, who can resist an English teacher wearing layered beads, more silver bangles than you could ever hope to count, a Thai sarong, and way too much purple eyeshadow?

I challenged my students to work around their school uniform restrictions and come up with a creative costume that they could change into before class.  The best creation, by far, was from a boy in my Grade 7 class.  After surveying his open, unbuttoned uniform collar, his slicked-back hair and his red school bandana tied around his head, I gave up and asked him who, or what, he was.  He gave me a dashing smile before raising his right fist and shouting, "Johnny Depp!"  

Jack Sparrow would be proud.

Currently Listening Back to Bedlam By James Blunt see related

On When Your Notebook Is Empty:

I graded homework with another teacher tonight.  

A third of the way through the pile we noticed that one of the assignments wasn't typed.  Instead, it was handwritten on the back of a tax document, complete with an official seal. 

Do you make a million dollars a month?  Me, either.

I do get to grade fabulous English assignments, though, and that's worth more than money. 

On Geeky, Geeky Moments

Tonight, as I walked through the front door of my apartment, a large white moth flew toward me, swooping close, touching my cheek. 

For just a moment, seriously, the flashiest of flashes, I thought it might be Gandalf.